OMG This Is Actually Happening!
by Archipelago-21
Summary: Me and my sis, end up in ME, after taking a survey so we could watch the LOTR movies in peace. Our wish comes true, and we end up with the NINE, DUH DUH DUH! And surprise, surprise, we're mistaken for aliens, because we're from the 21st century, and more than completely different. But it isn't that bad. The Nine and Sauron likes Solitaire, and MUCH, MUCH MORE!
1. MR Muffins, and the bitchy popup

Plzs, leave reviews and comments.

I DON'T OWN LOTR!

Except for my characters. :p

* * *

_*Me, sitting in front of the computer screen, rubbing hands together mischiviously. I am just about to type the first few words, when Crystal appears*_

_Crystal: "What are you doing?"_

_*Me, awkwardly turning round after being discovered, with a 'Oh Fuck' expression._

_Me: "Nothing"_

_*Crystal grabs mouse and scrolls down, and starts to read*_

_"What are you writing?"_

_"Duh, a fan-based parody about me, you and Corran going to the LOTR Universe"_

_Crystal: _:(

_Me: _:l

_Crystal: *gasp* "Do we get to meet the Witch King?" _:o

_Me: *nod nod* "Yes, yes we do"_

_Crystal: _:D

* * *

Chapter 1.

The first thing I felt, was the soft pressure of a warm morning breeze drifting along my face. As my conscience returned to me, I felt my hands clasp around something, but my hands, as I registered, were bent above my head, on the grass. And were laid either side of me, and in each of my two hands, was another two hands. I forced my eye's open, and flinched as white light pierced my vision. It quivered a second, before the vibrant flashes of green appeared and...

Aww fuck this, let's get on...

You know what, I'm just gonna skip the entire bullshit, fancy arse prolouge bit and skip to the best part, right. Cause this is just fucking killing me, cause this ain't even my style, I'm not some posh bitch of an author, ok.

Right, this is what really happened.

...

"Crystal, I would kindly appreciate it if you GOT THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM"

"NO"

"BUT..."

"I will get out of your room, WHEN YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU HID MR MUFFIN'S"

"Oh my God, you've locked yourself, in MY room, because you think Iv'e kidnapped your shit-coloured plushy"

"It's not shit colour, it's caramel"

"Fine, I hid Mr Muffins in the sock draw, happy"

I heard the distinctive sound of wood scraping against wood, and material being shuffled around.

"He smells like cheese"

"Dude, my feet don't smell that bad" I whined. "How do you know, do you sniff my socks?"

"Don't need to, I can smell them from here" She replied.

Ouch.

"Bitch"

Crystal, my young 12 year old sister, with thick curly locks of brown hair, and bright blue eye's. Opened my pristine white door, smirking, and cuddling Mr Muffins. I hated that stuffed animal, it was cute, but it was a skank.

"So..., what do you wanna do"

We stood there, glaring at each other, and then we both began to smile at the same time.

"LOTR"

10 minutes later.

We were here, sitting in front of the computer screen, eating popcorn, and watching one of the best movies ever. It was going well-ish, until there came a pop up.

"Stupid adverts" I mumbled.

I clicked on the window, and resumed the movie, 5 seconds later...

"You have mail"

Me and my sister, looked at each other, then at the screen. I clicked on the window and resume the movie agian.

"You have mail"

"Oh my God" I said face palming.

"I know we shouldn't do this, but can we just see what it is, because this is getting frustrating" said Crystal.

I inhaled deeply, before scroling down, minimising the screen, and clicking on the advert. Which linked straight to my email account. There, in small leters, was the sentence, Inbox: Survey. I wanted to punch the screen in, I hated it when this happened, but I wasn't violent, and enjoyed resolving things peacefully, so I calmly clicked on the new message on the inbox. And clicked on the tab to the survey. And then I began to think, this might actually be fun...

This web page appeared, with a parchment background, and the most basic writing ever. I turned to my sister.

"Question 1" I read aloud. "What's your favorite book series/book"

"Duh, Lord Of The Rings" Crystal said.

I typed in our answer.

"Question 2, What's your favorite video game/game"

"Obviously LOTRO"

I typed in Lord Of The Rings Online.

"Final Question, If you could go to an alternate dimension formed from your favorite novel, what would it be"

I turned to my sister, who was glaring strangley at the screen. I arched an eyebrow.

"You know what it is" she replied happily.

Satisfyied with her secret response, which I knew, I typed in...

"If I could go to a parallel dimension, it would definitely be the Lord Of The Rings, movie style"

"Woah, go sis" said Crystal, parading around my room.

We high-fived, then sat back down, closed all the Internet windows down, and continued to watch the movie. About five minutes into the end, we began to feel sleepy.

"Aww, I wanna see the ending" Crystal said inbetween yawning.

"I know, but we can see it tomorrow"

"Just a few more minutes"

I nodded, and we strained our eye's to focus on the screen, but it didn't work, my eyelids fluttered, and then everything went black.


	2. Apparently, we're aliens

Okay, I don't own this image, but I used it anyway, because plan B wasn't going to work. (They were going to be cyborgs, but that doesn't really work with a fantasy story)

Why? Why did I think that cyborgs were okay for this. *slams head against desk in shame*

So yeah.

Anyway, onto the story.

Oh yeah, I decided to do this anyway, but the story (my story) has the movie style characters, which Orlando Bloom play's in. But with most of what happens in the book. BTW we aren't evil. Not Sauron's new minions or some crap like that.

* * *

Chapter 2.

I awoke, and instantly realised something, 1. I am smart enough to realise when I had been transported to a different place, based on memories of previous event's and how this all came to be. 2. It was pretty fucking obvious, duh. 'Well done, shit for brains' I scowled myself. But wait, this could be a good thing, I could have been discovered by the Fellowship. Ah, wait, nope. No, definitly not! I recognised them instantly, the Nine.

My vision started to become a bit less blurry, and I saw what no person wants to see when they first wake up, a Black Rider right in your face, with putrid breathe like a meerkat. I held my breath. Until he turned, hissed something to the others, who fluently looked at him, then down at me, all in unison. They slowly crept up towards me, before, once in range, quickly kneeling down, shoving their faces in front of mine, and inspecting me.

And by inspecting me, I mean violating personal space. I watched as they slowly turned thier head's to one another, enough to keep an eye on both me and the person they were talking to. Well, by person, I mean creepy mother-fucker from the dead. I was getting used to being sat in front of the Nine, who where now, as I imagined, talking about me in Mordor's Black Speech. Yeah, it was fine until this happened, before I knew what was going on, one of them, reached out a cold, metl clawed hand and lifted my chin. Well in any case a girl is being assaulted I kicked him. And it turns out, Ghost Boy's don't have nuts, because he dug his claws into my face.

"OW BULLOCKS" I screamed.

Then I let out a long string of swear words. The Nine were further shocked into submission.

"Mine Ears. Have Never, Heard A Child Speak, Such Foul Words" one hissed.

"NOT. IN THE EONS. WE HAVE LIVED" awnsered another, shouting loudly.

They began bickering between one another.

"Okay" I said quaking, taking a deep breath and trying not to faint. "What, when where and why the fuck are we here?"

"_You have been summoned by our master Sauron, for your, special abilities_" He said, delibritly placing each hands finger-tips against each other and lowering his head deviously. His voice got deeper. The tallest, the Witch-King, I supposed. Stood threateningly before us, but no weapon was drawn, which made me suspicious. No "Ludicrously Large" mace.

"_You wish for us. To awnser you questions_" he said leaning forward.

I nodded. He didn't reply for a few second's.

"_As of now, we've just told you, you are being escorted to Mordor to meet our master, when, I'm assuming you mean time, it is late evening, where, the forest outside of Rohan, leading to the Black Gate, and why, you are alien type princesses_"

"There is no way you taking me to..." I paused. "Wait, what was that last part"

"_We're currently outside of Mordor, sort of, being escorted to the Black Gate_" he replied.

"No, no the other part"

Silence.

"_You're princesses from an alien origin_"

I got angry.

"Excuse me, but if I'm an alien, why don't I have a pair of fugly green ears, sticking out of my freaking head" I shouted.

"_The evidence, is that you have eye's, complection's, hair tone's, clothes and equipment, that aren't of this world_"

What!, this was bullshit, people had generally strange eye colours, I mean, Crystal had very light blue eye's with a dark ring around the iris and icy white streaks in the iris to blend with the blue, which I wished I also had, because my eye colour couldn't be given a definite definition. I thought my strange colour was because of the genetic's combined with my parent's eyes. Both, mum and dad, had light grey eye's with a pale hint of limey-green, which was under-shone by the whitey grey, but light enough to see, both had a dark ring. But my mum, was the one with the pale ice blue and white-grey, mixed with with a ragged hazel around the pupil, and hints of small brown. And my dad, having no ring around it, had grey eye's with dabs of all the eye colour's in it. But you needed a magnifying glass to properly see the detail. I liked to think of my sister's eye's, as the eye's with many shades of blue. And me, eye colour version of a rainbow, that, in the morning, for both of us, me and sis. When our eye's were very glazey, sort of shone. I have an explanation, in science, if you combined all the separate colours of a rainbow, it turns into pure white light. So basically, a rainbow is the individual, break up of everything that creates pure light. But I wasn't sure if that's how to put it. My eye's reflected light that made them glow weirdly.

Anyway, who gave a shit, when people mess around with genetics, that's what happens, you end up with strange eye colours, there was a girl at my school with pinky, purple grey eye's.

But I guess that didn't happen here.

As for clothes, Armani Jeans, Muscle Top, Boots, Cloth Shirt's. And colourful, vibrant legging's with diamonties and tee-shirts. Fashion, duh. It was common, but then again, that's Middle Earth, where every regular kid wears potato sacks. Hair, fashion based again, so they had mistaken us for aliens, because we were very VERY different.

Well, I hardly blamed them, me and my sister were from the 21st Century, Planet Earth. And they were from a fantasy land concieved by the greatest author ever, besides Terry Pratchett.

"_And besides your physical appearance, we uncovered this"_

He grabbed a black canvas bag and passed it to me. It was my tech stuff, my laptop, MP3, Samsung Hollow, my headphones, loads of memory, sticks, battery packs, and loads and loads of other things, but the thing that surprised me most was that I found a packet of cards in there. Awesome, I could play solitaire. So despite how I looked, they took me and my sister for aliens, because they hadn't yey been introduced to technology.

Fuckin' Perfect.

_"So you now see, you are not of this world"_

'no shit Sherlock" I mumbled.

"So I'm supposed to be going with you now, aren't I"

They nodded.

"Yippee"

* * *

Sorry the chapters a little bit late...


End file.
